Looking back ...

 Today is my 15th marriage anniversary ( now it just became as a 'manage anniversary' 😁) and the above one is my actual marriage card. Since morning i was remembering a lot about that particular day, and what stand out was my happiness. In every picture or every memories i can remember that i was happy. Later in my life when there was difficulties in marriages, i always feel bad about the happiness that i have shown off that day. In my place if the girl is showing a lot of happiness or smile during the marriage day it is consider as a shamelessness, i still fail to understand the reason behind that, but i was happy and my parents and uncles ( Mama - mother's brother, Kaka - Father's younger brother, Tata - Father's elder brother ),  aunts( Maima - Mama's wife) were also smiling and making joke with me with my smiling. 

One thing that stood out in my mind is, when my husband came in the afternoon and there was difficulties in finding the places, i was so anxious that if possible i would go and show them road ( Hahahahahha). Another thing also when i woke up early in the morning to have the "Dodhi mangal" ( a ritual where the bride and groom will eat some curd and flattened rice before sun rise and then they will not eat any starch whole day till marriage) , i always like this particular ritual and dish, but that day seeing my mother crying i somehow could not enjoy the food. All my little cousins were there and they show off a lot of energy, Rini ( my cousin 6 years at that time) and Roop ( my nephew 7 years at that time) were busy throughly to stacking and unstacking the chairs 😀. I am trying to remember what Somu was doing, but in every memory i can find him working hard on making sure that the arrangements are proper. I just remember that Somu is running around with his scooty for different errands 😜.

Nili reminded me one incident of my husband is not getting the restroom before leaving for marriage, as that was occupied by one of my aunts 😂. Then how either Sejomoni or Moni had to repeatedly pursue my aunt to come out of the restroom leaving her makeup half way through😂.

During the marriage the priest who was conducting the marriage was saying the chanting in the Sanskrit and then was explaining the same in the English to my husband, it was such a nice gesture. I remember that during one of the ceremony where the husband take the oath of keeping wife in a good state in whole life - i crack some joke, and that priest was not happy with me. My husband was upset with his marriage costume( in Bengali marriages the groom wears a silk dhoti and a chador, which is not comfortable), and that was shown in his face. I knew as soon as i see him that he is not liking this attire at al. That is the reason he never looks at the marriage photos or videos. Before the "malyodaan" ( exchanging garlands), Shaibalda and Chotomama and TotonMama took me on the seat and make a round around the groom for 7 times, i was so tense i was holding Chotomama so hard 😁
 

Nili and Jeet were busy exploring the things, they both were awake whole night with me in the "Bashor". My Maima(s) were taking regular rounds to check that we didn't fall asleep during the "Bashor". Ladies in the house made us to do all the rituals - like - finding the ring from a bowl, putting 2 rose patels together and then see which one is following others etc. Sejomoni, Moni, Chotomoni, Bordi sat for sometime in the "Bashor" and then they left to sleep. But Nili and Jeet were very enthusiastic and make sure that they do full justice in the "Bashor" by not sleeping. Sandhya ( my sister in law) was seeing this ritual for the first time and she was also enjoying. At dawn, i told them that let's have some sleep 😀. "Bashor" is one of a very nice ritual, later in USA in one office party a person told me the most fun part of the Bengali marriages is that the first night the couple has to spend with the family and friends - everyone was surprise and was laughing till the time i explain them 😁. 

Next day while leaving the home and going to Jhansi, i remember that i cried very badly, i didn't anticipate that i would even able to cry ...my father (Baba) and brother (Somu) , Kaka, PhoolMama came to the station to leave us.

Now after so many years i feel that life is a journey, in every phase there will be differences and struggles, but keep on smiling doesn't harm, that helps to pass through that phase.