Jhansi -- my memoir of first interaction

I am born and brought up in a small place next to river Ganga in West Bengal, India. In my entire life till marriage I never crossed the Vindhya Range ( central India). After marriage, first time I went to northern part of India - Jhansi, Utter Pradesh. In history I read about "Rani Laxmi Bai", the warrior queen! that was my limited knowledge about that place and people. My childhood memories of my Baba's uncle ( he became a monk and we used to call him 'Sadhu Dadu' ) used to call me as 'DurgaBai' and he keep on giving reference to 'Jhansi ki Rani LakhmiBai' in multiple times. When the Jheelam Express stopped in the Jhansi railway station, I was very anxious to get the first look of the city. My husband, Sandhya, Papa( Father in law), Dharmendra ( my husband's friend ) was there with me who accompanied me in the train. Seen my excitement to get down from the train, Papa and my Husband told me to wait till in the train till the crowd get lighter 😃. By the time I was seating and waiting for someone to rescue me Mani, Shivam, Som came inside and Sandhya introduced me to them. I was their first 'Bhabi'(brother's wife) so their excitement and eagerness to see me was also reciprocating mine 😍. Once I get down from the train, Kaki, Choti Buaji embrace me with lots of love and acceptance. As I was passing the station i was observing that people are watching us 😁. 

Once reached home, I was asked to stay in the car still someone will come and take me home following all the rituals. There was a ritual that mother-in-law will carry the daughter-in-law in her arm to home 😊, so Choti Kaki ( who is my Husband's aunt and mother-in-law for me) carried me around 50meters , that was her love and determination, I was moved by this affection. Once reached home Mummy(Mother-in-law), Jijji, Choti Dadi everyone danced at great joist with the music. I found that Mummy was in tears, she completed the rituals and bring me inside home. As coming in train, I was very eager to change my dress. I was keep on asking to multiple times to change my dress 😂😂,  then Mummy said that we need to visit lots of Mandir and complete all the rituals before I can change. Everyone from the relatives and neighbors were pouring to see the bride, all the small kids were calling me 'Bhabi' then Soumya, Shivam, Honey, Mani, Som came, they were at great pleasure finally get some time with their 'Bhabi'. Before marriage only Soumya saw me in Mumbai ( she came to Mumbai along with Mummy,Papa, Sandhya to meet me), so she had a extra comfort to share with me. Then we left home to visit the temples 'Panchkuian Mandir', 'Sidheswar', 'Lakshmi Narayan' - among all these temples the Panchkuian looked oldest to me. All the temples are very crowded place, the roads towards the main temples were very old and narrow. That reminiscence of an old city with history. But due to military base and camp there are certain part of the city that are very well maintained. So this city has a good balance of old vs new. After coming back home in the evening Sundaram came home with Kaki and then later Uuncleji also came. I met our Buaji ( Badi Buaji and Choti Buaji) . After so many years from memories lane, Choti buaji's celestial beauty standout. During the 'ladies sangeet' I was asked to sing a song - if my husband would have informed me about this ritual earlier I could have prepare better, but at that time I think I was able to say couple of lines from a bhajan ' Ram hi Ram Ratere'. 

Next day we went to Baral - that is my Husband's ancestral village 33 km away from Jhansi. While going we stopped at Chirgaon to take blessing from Badi Mummy and after talking to me she changed her mind and went along with me to Baral. The beauty of the village in the month of October was splendid. It was reminding me so much of the village that I saw in Bengal. Our car stopped on the road we went to Dadaji's resting place, Jijji (our Dadi) cried there, now after so many years of marriage, I understood how much good relation they had, that Jijji remembered Dadaji in every good moment of her life. This may called a journey. This may called bonding, which I feel missing in this current days of 'social' trends. There were 2 big family houses i went and do the rituals. From seeing those houses I can feel that once everyone used to stay here, these houses were so lively. We headed back for Jhansi after completing all the rituals there. I met Chachi, Bindi, Chabbo, Anshu. I still remember that big banyan tree in front of the house. All the women from the neighborhood were pouring to see us, all of them are giving reference to Mummy, Papa, Jijji, Dadaji - it gave me a sense of how deep rooted my new family is. Currently in USA, often i miss this sense of having a root. 

All my new family member embrace me with so much love that I felt very comfortable and the initial woe vanished. Mummy introduced me with so many new delicious food, Kaki's stupendous 'Bread Pakoda' and Choti Kaki's home made 'Dahi Vada' is among few that stand out in my memory with its savoriness. Every day in multiple places I used to eat 'pani puri', first time I went to a pani puri shop near 'purana killa' and ate panipuri from a shop that is famous by the name of 'Mote ki Panipuri'.

One morning we went to 'Orcha', its about 45 mins of drive from our home. No wonder, that place is a world heritage. The architecture is inspired by Lutyens  and built by Bundela Rajput. Next day we went to 'Jhansi Fort' - it was a good hike and that fort was in the process of renovation at that time. I remember climbing high on the stairs to take a look into the "Kaal Kothri" -- the prison , that place was still having a chilling feeling, Sundaram, Shivam, Som,Mani were there along with me on top of those stairs. Kaki was with us, she was explaining me the history and importance of this fort. Awestruck by the Statue of 'Rani Lakshmi Bai' at the gate, swept me with all my feminism, that day I paid my regards to this woman leader. From there we went to see the Gyansthali (a school that is opened and run by Kaki).

For the first time when I went to Kaka's house in Shivaji Nagar, he had a couple of round of 'Celebratory Gunfire', for me, that was the first time I heard gunfire 😂. His big house with backyard and garden reminds me of my childhood home. Lots of giggles from Honey, Mani, Som, Sundaram, Anju still rings in my ear.

Once I met all of them from my husband's maternal side, it was overwhelming experience. Varsha came and do the mehendi in my hand again 😍. Mausi and Mausaji along with the kids came on morning. All the mamaji and mamiji came, I was very surprised to learn that they are supposed to touch my feet - I was startled  and confused, not sure how to react when someone elders touches the feet. But later realized, it as a part of the ritual. One shy small boy stand out in my memory is Varshu. His intelligence and mature attitude was visible since then. I just loved the feelings of how all the kids were surrounding me and was asking all kinds of different questions , some of them after a lots of hesitation asked 'where did I meet my husband' 😀😂. Seeing the bonding between Mamaji(s) and Mummy was very warm and respectful, I was remembering my own Mama(s) a lot. 

After so many years, now all this kids grown up and i also became more mature, but i still can feel the kind of bonding these kids having with me, is special!!

My childhood started at the bank of river Ganga and i traveled till river Pahuj... and continues....